“I want to talk to you regarding a thing. Tell me when can we talk,” buzzed on my Facebook messenger from a dear friend who is few years younger to me. We both studied in the same school. His sister and I passed out in the same year (of course, we belonged to different group of studies).
I responded to that message but didn’t receive any answer for a week. I checked again if that was a fake message or if someone was playing a prank on me. But that wasn’t the case. He was going through a job shift and was keeping busy with interviews, relocation and a lot more stress to top it all.
Me: “Hi! How have you been? What’s the matter? Is everything alright? I was alarmed to suddenly receive your message, it sounded very serious to me,” I said in one breath 🙂 Though I sounded very much desperate to know more about the situation and if at all I was the chosen one to be of some help to him.
He: You know who I am?
He: Though I am not ashamed of it or carry any disrespect for myself. Even in school everyone knew it. They used to tease me. But neither I bothered and nor it mattered. I read that you give counselling and lend people like me and others an ear, where we are heard.
Me: (Still disoriented)… Okay, just be more candid and we’ll sort this out. Who is a serious troublemaker in your journey?
He: I was in a serious relationship with this man…
Me: (In my mind) okay it is about Homosexuality (feeling contend now and listening to further story)
He: When we broke up, I was shattered. I was so perplexed that it was impossible to convince any of my family member that I am a gay. They thought I was being childish. And it was just fun. If I’ll spend more time with girls I might get attracted to them and all this will disappear. They were just not ready to understand that their son is that. That chemical imbalance is for real. Moreover, I thought to talk to my sister, who was a student of psychology. She gave me the most dumbest of reactions on it. Totally disagreeing to my nature. She said, she is unable to provide her in-laws with reasons that why aren’t you coming on holidays with us. Why do you keep yourself secluded. I was wondering if she even wants to understand the matter at all. I can’t change it anyway. After a long discussion to some extend I was able to convince my parents. But it is so hard for them to believe that they keep questioning me from scratch. I get so depressed. I am unable to cope with it.
Me: (Serious tone), you want me to talk to your family. I’ll help them understand, that acceptance is the only way towards peace in your lives. Nobody from the outside world or society matters enough to create the wall between you and your family. Rather a family is such a strong support, that when the time comes can break all the walls that it creates.
He: I told them but I’ve failed to convince them.
Me: When are you free? We can meet and talk so that you can talk all the garbage out. Feel free and get recharged with some positive energy.
He: I’ve couple of important interviews lined up this week and the next. Maybe, after that. I can’t stay at home. I am working in so much stress. I don’t know when it’ll all end.
Me: See, running away or keeping yourself occupied won’t take the pressure out of your system. You might add headaches, anxiety issues, insomnia and might pop-up few pills to end your days. There is a solution to everything. May be when we talk, you may find it easy to come out with some ideas to lead a better life. All I can help you with is, clear the clutter your brain is in.
He: Yes please do. I’ll call you once I am free from these job interviews, as I was waiting to work with this company.
Me: All the very best! Take care (call ended)
I don’t know how many of such souls are fighting from identity crisis.
Can we expect the world to understand and accept them if their families don’t?
And should they leave their families, knowing that somewhere, someone out in the world accepts them for who they are and love them anyway?
What the society thinks or whatever the world thinks of them, if you as a parent don’t think highly of your own children or disregard them, only then stay confirmed that your son or daughter is living like a dead. Yes, you read it right. Living a life of a ZOMBIE. It is only you whose support is a validation for their existence, no one else’s. Nobody is to be blamed. Neither you, cos you gave birth to a homosexual child, nor your child is at any fault. He/She is already fighting their own battle. Can’t you see that?
Is it that if he/she is a celebrity you’d feel okay with their state? In India, it isn’t legal yet. But you cannot eradicate this from within them. Your acceptance is the only legality for your children. Don’t force them to take any harsh steps, especially the one when they decide to end their lives.
In my words,
Life is a cherished gift, and love is not gender specific. Love is love.