In the midst, when we are stuck on a certain someone, for some moments who get close, for some years who were together, we get nostalgic. Physically distant but minds still attracted. You never know if they think of you or you’ve been trashed out completely. But you always hope they do. Even though you never get to know about them but you always think of how you played your part. Were you good? Or were you not enough? Are you worthy or if they are at all? Yeah! It kinda sink in deep down and can churn all those good, old, bad memories of that person who still is somewhere special.
We usually run from our feelings. If they are bad, run. If they are good, run harder and faster. Probably we hate to convince ourselves that it is too deep to let go. If it didn’t work out, it’ll tear us apart. There are more its and buts and ifs. But there are less hope so, may be, probably, etc.
Shiren felt all the extremes of good, bad and ugly. Yet she never disregarded the ones she left, others who left her and with the remaining few that she still seems to catch up very well. She was never an introvert but she started to enjoy more of self time than with others. She still hopes for the ones she has left and is thankful. She still believes to revisit the times well spend with laughter and love. Cherishes moments with the ones, who are strangers today. She never gave up. She was hurt, broken, shattered and misunderstood, but she still kept together, smiled often, loved even more and gave ever so generously.
When I talked to Shiren, I felt a similar connection. Probably I am somewhat like her. Either this way or that but never ever on the see-saw unless I am in the garden playing with kids.
Shiren, people like you are very few. Not many have the courage to truly express what they feel. You have an honest way to lead your life and you own your actions. People who can strongly stand for the right of themselves and others. You’d lead longer in the years to come.
In my words I can only say:
It reminded me that I can always rewind,
But it got stuck.
There, where we winded it up.