Headache, Flu, Sprains, Nausea, Diarrhea, Typhoid, Malaria, Cervical pain, PCOD, Cancers, silicosis (PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS), and so many others can be diagnosed through all kinds of blood and urine tests. But, when you talk about stress, mental pressure and today depression these are noticed at first only through a person’s change in behaviour. How a person carries himself? How they manage to survive 24 hours of the day? How much their performance and confidence has degraded? How an extrovert with time and situation starts feeling or looking like an introvert? They hardly get a good night sleep. They lose health. They learn to fake their smiles. They don’t trust anybody to actually hear them and then understand what they are trying to explain. They have innumerable thoughts running in their head but they can hardly put them in words. They make stories of their friends but in real they are the ones in the main lead. Suffering silently and torturing themselves just to exist in this world. All these and many more can be the signs of depression. They can be our family, friends or even colleagues. And such individuals need our help.
One of my very good friends used to take a lot of stress. She used to get angry and shout on her family members just to roll the ball in her court. I’ve always tried to calm her down, share the things which trouble her the most and discuss with her. I’ve talked and texted all night for some nights just to make her understand that this stress will make her health worse. Which it did when we parted ways. One of the reasons is that it gets extremely difficult to put your 100% trust in somebody and expecting them to reciprocate in the same manner, which is a prerequisite atleast in this situation. Trust is paramount hands down in every relationship. When you don’t find it in someone, you don’t share even the half of what is wrong. Eventually repurcussions take its toll.
Everyone has a self defence mechanism to fight with it. A lot of them have not yet recovered the strengths with which they can fight. A lot of us are busy in knowing and understanding others rather than ourselves. Like what I know of myself is if I’ve been hurt or something didn’t go as planned I have to write about it to take it out of my system. Writing is my personal and tested therapy for relief of all kinds. I am not a very good person to share what troubles or hurts. But overthinking or over indulging my muscles on something which get the power to ruin my health and me completely is never justified. You have the will to fight with it. You have to be the soldier to protect your own happiness and peace.
For many of you it can be music, dancing, playing any sport, travelling, mirror acting or sharing it with your friends or family. These days, what I see is talking to an unknown person is more convenient and comfortable rather than sharing it with the people in your den. This is fear. Fear of being judged to feel what you feel and speak what you need. If the need be go to the therapist alone. It is fine to say I am not feeling fine. It is okay to cry or get cranky like a child. Let the fear of being judged by others leave your core once and forever. Just let it go. Good, bad or ugly no experience can be summarized in other than these three words. And every emotion is truly felt by others when you first feel it within yourself. So, JUST BE. Think about what can transform you to being you again.
I try and invite such people and be all ears to them. I am also a stranger to them. And if they are not comfortable disclosing their names or identity it is completely fine. They just need to mail me and it’ll be answered. The answers are based on what they share and how closely knit their situation is. A logical reasoning is supposed to be developed to come to a consensus with the thoughts. I am just trying to be your coach, neither your therapist nor a doctor. I can only lend you an ear so that you stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solutions. I can be all ears and would patiently read what all you need to share. If the response helps you heal or help you move on or even helps you to discover your inner strengths my purpose would be served. Because diseases can be diagnosed but depression is only observed.
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