I never thought I would write this anytime soon. I don’t even know why I am doing what I doing. I don’t talk about you or even think of you now. And now that you are completely out of my reach and my sight there is still something that this heart holds deep within. And unless it completely vanishes from within, you still remain. I know our first and foremost condition before breaking up was being happy always. Life really doesn’t stop for anybody. But are you really happy??
A lot of people asked me to forget everything and patch up. Someone said there will come a time you’ll be with each other again and that too closer than before (though I don’t know what can be closer than that, but anyways). At times I smile and share the funny moments with such an ease, it seems like it never really happened. We had our good, bad and ugly times. Today when I hear you are still having trouble taking your decisions, I am more than surprised. You took decision years back and you just have to have conviction for your own actions. Stand upright and face it. It is alright to take a decision for your life. You are the only responsible individual to make your life experiences worth living. Nobody could force you then and no one can even today. You did what you did. You know in your heart what it feels like. No one else does. Just like I took our friendship very healthy I took the breakup with the same spirit. You must be having your reasons for not being comfortable when I am around, which is completely okay with me.
While I was with you, I was so sure that I know you so well. Today, my deeper insights are more sparkling as to who you are and what you were to me. We meet different people in our lives and there is always a purpose. You were the biggest and the greatest lessons I’ve ever learnt. Nobody could teach me what you did. I’ll be ever grateful and thankful to you. All I was saddened about when I heard couple of friends expressing it to me that while we both were so closely knit in that friendship, others felt like they never had a single corner in my heart left for them. And that they never mattered. I know it was unintentional. And I don’t know how should I make up for that feeling I gave to them. But to you I can only say that friends are extremely important part of our lives. By this time you might have had some real friends and relationships that you were searching in life, something which we missed and something that encourages you to become a better and a happier person. Just hold them tight. Be true to them and yourself. Share and don’t keep it in or go into depression because of your rigid and unending thought cycle. Stand to your decisions if your heart feels right about it.
Having both the strong emotions hatred and love for you. Love is still easier as it helps me to forgive myself. Just be happy and stop losing health. As you won’t be doing any good to yourself or others by being ignorant. Always try to know yourself deeper and better. That will always help you calm down and make you feel happy.
At this moment I could pour out just this much.
Eversaid With Love.